Thanks be to God!

Thanks be to God, for so much he has done!
What has God done to deserves our praise?
He created the Earth, sky, and everyone!
Each man he has made only survives a number of days,
Eternal life is ours if we accept his grace!
Can life and death come from the same creator?
We will understand everything upon seeing his face,
Do tragedies occur only to make him greater?
He made brilliant minds to guide mankind,
Do tyrants and psychopaths add to his glory?
Throughout hard times with his love he binds,
Isn't that a comforting bedtime story?
Do not challenge our benevolent judge,
Which "God" deserves to rule man?
One who always forgives and never holds a grudge,
Was that suicide bomb in his plan?
His reasons are beyond human conception,
What mystery exists in seeing a dead baby?
Our God does not believe in deception,
Why does he answer prayers with a maybe?
Believe it or not, he watches his flock,
Are all men merely sheep to be herded?
Hell awaits those who doubt and mock,
Or does that depend on the way the bible was worded?
He designed our lives from the beginning of it all,
Did he mean the army to lay land mines?
He will make Satan and his demons fall,
Wasn't it Satan he created at the beginning of time?
His greatness is exceeded only by his love and grace,
In the end the truth will be known,
His compassion is not limited to a single race,
The only thing God has shown,
He died on the cross to save our eternal souls,
By climbing Golgotha's steep terrain,
And had his hands forever punctured with holes,
That it was the son of God who deserved the most pain!

Behind Blue Eyes

Are they truly serene, sharp, and blue?
My eyes that share a deep gray hue?
The windows to my very soul,
Which possess a powerful role,
Of which memories I retain,
Within this complicated brain,
Are you brave enough to travel with me?
Behind blue eyes where memories be?
To witness what they have seen?
Have you the courage to see what I mean?
Lets start with the beginning of it all,
Just before things commenced to fall,
When things were good, kind, and benign,
But how quickly things change within this mind!
Emotions breach extreme highs and lows,
My very fabric shaken to and fro,
Finding love does not temper the beast,
Only feeding the storm that will never cease,
I have seen the love in their eyes,
Only turn into vengeful despise,
I’ve made them all cry from the pain,
That being insane gives to no gain,
Wish you to travel deeper behind,
To see what else we can find?
For bear in mind I have seen nightmares too,
The details of which are never too few,
Demons and death and victims of disease,
And lost loves who are never appeased,
Indeed this is my burden to bear,
Do I dare continue to share?
From all the knowledge I have acquired,
To all the few I have inspired,
To my handicapped sister’s funeral,
And all the memories I have of that girl?
Now look back the way you came,
Look outside from within my brain,
What color do my eyes now lack?
Has the brilliant blue turned to black?
The darkest of colors, the most opaque?
Of which only dark memories can make?
Salty tears do not wash away,
The masses of memories here to stay,
For these things are what truly lie,
Behind these beautiful blue eyes.

Knowing it All

Neurons firing, my mind is ablaze,
The thoughts and ideas lasting for days,
Captivating charisma and astonishing wit,
And never a time of sleep deficit,
But this a mere prelude of what is to come,
As those neurons turn dormant one by one,
A fog of darkness envelopes my mind,
Capturing my dreams, it leaves nothing behind,
Lost in the shadows I blindly seek,
Something reminiscent of my peak,
But nothing arises, no one in the past,
Comes at the moment to see me suffer alas,
My only companions are tormenting demons,
Again and again reciting my sins,
And sleep yields no comfort, as I am further deceived,
By violent and vivid dreams that won’t leave,
Each hour that passes, each day that goes by,
Brings a new wave of temptation to die,
Cresting and crashing on my battered soul,
Washing away the last pieces I know,
But suddenly and without any cause,
The chaos begins to slowly withdraw,
The darkness and fog lift to reveal,
A new set of ideas no longer concealed,
But I know this time is solely confined,
To now and the next loss of my mind,
So do not tell me that I you envy,
For this is my life, full of such frenzy,
Never knowing exactly what one phase will cast,
Before the next brings with it my demons to last.

Inside this Head

I wish I could see you and be over there,
But instead all I can do is lay over here,
Numb to the world, but not to my pain,
Holding me inside, with nothing to gain.

I hear voices and noises of people around,
But to me it’s the same as not hearing a sound.
All I can do is stare at the walls,
And then the ceiling, and back to the walls.

Over and over the memories they come,
Tormenting me with each passing one,
I thought they were lost, forever forgotten,
But now here they are, freshly begotten.

I know to eat, but why should I try?
I cant keep it down, that’s not a lie.
My eyes are so dry, from the tears I have cried,
Would anyone miss me after I die?

I’ve so much to do, but I can not arise,
I’d rather just lie here and face my demise.
The light turns to night, but its all the same,
I am not in this world, nor am I sane.

When will my mind return to the state,
Of joy and ideas, instead of just hate?
But him I hate too, that man is a fake,
Defined by the promises and plans that he makes.
Never completing a goal that he sets,
I am captive to all of the pain he begets.

Morning returns without dream through the night,
And trying to sleep was a loosing fight.
I long for a nightmare to comfort my guilt,
I am tired of fighting, I am broken not built.

I can’t stand to watch the rise in my chest,
Please lay me down for eternal rest.
For surely hell cant be much worse than this,
I’ll relish in joy in that fiery pit!

I’m so sorry to all I have hurt,
I crushed you and treated you much worse than dirt,
You all took me in, made me your own,
And I give you thanks with my casket of bones.

What She Needs...

She needs you to hold her, and be by her side,
The girl who loves you, from whom you hide,
So why do you ignore her, and talk to another?
When the one who loves you most, is with no other?

Continue reading, this is nearly a start,
For have you no ears to hear from your heart?
Have you no eyes to see her tears?
Especially for someone you dated for how many years?

My God, she might die and all she desires,
Is to hold your hands and feel higher,
Yet, her therapy has started and all you can say,
Is “I’m not coming, I’m going away?”

Buy her some flowers, and make her feel as your queen
For how much more would the petals mean,
If laid out on her bed sometime today,
Instead of her coffin one gloomy day?

How can I trust you to take of my baby,
When you are letting yours die, and might see her, maybe?
Take it from me, I did it once before too,
And never again, will I leave, this is true,

Her cancer won’t leave, but you certainly have,
When you needed her, you were all she would have,
When death is near and there’s nothing they can do,
I guarantee she’ll be thinking of you.

You think it from God?

Deep inside his fiery well,
Past Acheron and Styx, into hell,
Where the bitter wind blows to no end,
Over Cocytus and all those who are damned,
There is heard his beating wings,
Six in all, the most grotesque of things,
Louder than all the cries of the souls,
Screaming in anguish from their blazing holes,
Their final punishment does not differ,
To rot in hell, next to Lucifer
Long ago, it was here he was cast,
Along with his demons, once angels past,
Anger and hatred growing each day,
Bitter towards God, and those of his way
And then came us, woman and man,
And the Devil contrived a deceptive plan,
A cause for wars, famine and plague,
Bloodshed, disease, and riches to rags,
A way to tarnish God’s perfect Earth,
Inherent in man from his very birth,
Because man cannot stand being alone,
To seek out another is what he is prone,
A folly to think it from above,
That which we unknowingly call love
For it is only a guise, a cause of much woe,
A ploy to undo us, from Satan below.

Rêve Récurrent

The dawn is bright,
But the light so grim,
My eyes ache,
At the aura rim.
My dreams fade, my will unmade,
At what dreams cast,
Before they fade

Deceiving dreams are they,
Who never stay and hide by day,
By illusive means they promise,
A world of barren hopes abolished,
Only false memories remain,
And damnit, why even those retain!
A hopeless struggle by the sane,
A vain attempt,
To exempt our pain.

Who was it I saw, a moment ago?
Before the night, Began to glow?
Does she remember our lips pressed?
Before she left, or was it me?
Who left her world, that now she sees?

But these wicked dreams do not end here,
If they did, why would I fear?
For I see my sister, walking alone,
As if she wasn’t buried, beneath that stone,
And speaking to her only brother,
She speaks to me like no other,
And soon vanishes within the air,
And dies again, to my despair!

Tonight, I will sleep and see it all again,
A penalty for my cardinal sin,
For extinguishing my mortal light,
To forever abide within the night,
For it is there that will forever last,
The empty promises that dreams cast.